Understanding grief, while you are facing it, is one of the most difficult things you can face. We do not prepare our mind for grief ahead of time, so instead we face it when we are most fatigued, distraught, foggy-minded and in duress. There are many elements to understanding grief. The simplest approach is to understand there are "phases" that we see most commonly after betrayal or loss. These phases are what we work on in the counseling relationship and by no means linear or consecutive. They are: Loss, Grief, Mourning and Bereavement.
In each phase, there is a process that must be achieve to move to the next phase in the most healthy way. First, we must identify and accept the loss, Then we begin to grieve that loss, sometimes after shock and denial. It is during this phase that we begin to mourn all that has been lost or changed for us and our loved ones. When we properly pass through this phase, only then can be begin the bereavement process. This is where we begin to make sense of things and we start to rebuild our lives.
Through proper care and counseling, you can learn to heal from your loss. And, in time you will be able to understand your grief and how it manifests in the mind and body. As well, you will be able to see find your next steps and ways to honor your loved one and yourself through legacy work. There is no perfect timetable. There is no perfect process. having someone who understands the grief & loss process is key to helping you get through some of the hardest moments you will ever face. It is also important that you find a practitioner who can help you determine if you have fallen into chronic grief, known in therapy as Complicated Grief Disorder. if you would like to sit with a counselor to assess if you are sufferings from Complication Grief Disorder, or you would like to work with someone who can help counsel you through your pain, we at Heath Counseling are honored to do so,
In addition, because we believe that resources through Bibliotherapy are the very best tool for our counseling clients in between counseling sessions, here you will find more reading materials nd resources on the subject of grief and loss.
Complicated Grief Disorder Self Assessment from PSYCOM.net - https://www.psycom.net/complicated-grief-quiz
Stages of Grief from PSYCOM.net- https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html
The Twin Terrors of Grief & Betrayal from Medium.com - https://medium.com/crows-feet/the-twin-terrors-of-grief-and-betrayal-51228284b5de
The Value of Treasure Memories When Grieving from PsychologyToday.com - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resilient-grieving/202202/the-value-treasured-memories-when-grieving